JOHN DENVER:
Early last summer, it was announced that John Denver
would play Harrah's in Lake Tahoe, Nevada, for ten days at the end of August.
In the first hour that the telephone lines were open for reservations, the
computer logged over 10,000 attempted calls. Ordinarily, that would seem an
astonishing piece of data: Harrah's is, after all, a gambling casino, a vast
and flashy monument to what is perhaps the weirdest of all human lusts. And
John Denver is, well--John Denver. One would as soon marry the Pope to a
massage parlor as Harrah's to this sunlit country boy.
Yet all the figures spelling Denver's success are in
the same range of incredibility. He has sold over 100,000,000 record albums,
which puts him in the Beatles/Presley stadium; he has acquired 11 gold LPs, one
platinum album and six gold singles. In 1975, a year in which Denver is said to
have had gross earnings of over $12,000,000, he was, according to the Billboard
magazine year-end listings, the number-one artist in each of the categories of
Pop, Easy Listening, Single and Country Album. Five of his albums were on the
charts simultaneously, 400,000 of his albums were sold on one three-day weekend
and, in that year, Denver sold more records than any other artist in the world.
It goes on: Denver has made ten sell-out concert
tours (he set the Los Angeles Universal Amphitheater house record by selling
out seven days of concerts in 24 hours); his ABC special "An Evening with
John Denver" won an Emmy in 1975; and that same year, the Country Music
Association nominated him for Entertainer of the Year, Album of the Year,
Single, Male Vocalist and Song. (He won Entertainer of the Year and Song
awards.)
Perhaps more than any other performer of the day,
Denver inspires two polarized responses. Adoring legions of fans see in him the
apotheosis of life's positive values: Kids go camping in the Rockies because
Denver sings paeans to nature and the mountains; they turn off water taps when
he espouses ecology; they dive into Werner Erhard's est training as a result of
Denver's buoyant support of that consciousness cult; and the number of
Americans who have incorporated "Farrrrr out" into their working
vocabularies is simply incalculable. His themes are simple and oft repeated:
love, home, friendship, serenity, family, the outdoors. His image is well
scrubbed, with more pearly whites than Farrah, ingenuous, puckish, sweet and
relentlessly joyous. But those very qualities that enchant millions are
precisely the ones that repulse his detractors. The press, in particular, has
pulverized Denver: "Repellent narcissism," "contrived and
rigidly controlled Americana," "Mr. Clean," "plastic
Pollyanna," "millionaire mediocrity," "like a cross between
Johnny Appleseed and the Singing Nun." In the urban circles that set
trends, declare fashions and make or break culture heroes, Denver is so unfashionable
as to be beneath serious discussion.
Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr., was born on New
Year's Eve of 1943 in Roswell, New Mexico, the son of a career Air Force
colonel. His nomadic "Army brat" rearing took him to short-lived
homes in Arizona, Alabama, Oklahoma, Japan and Texas. He was a shy child,
overwhelmed by his commanding father, jarred by the periodic uprootings. His
leading-solace and his truest buddy: the guitar given to him by his grandmother
when he was 12.
He entered Texas Tech University to study
architecture but spent more time playing in the band and singing country music
than studying; so, in the middle of his junior year, he left school and headed
for Los Angeles. Changing his name to Denver as a symbol of his passion for the
mountains, he worked part time as a draftsman while cutting demos and singing
at hootenannies around the city. Eventually, he was discovered by Randy Sparks
of the New Christy Minstrels and given a job at Ledbetters, Sparks's popular
club near the UCLA campus. His big break came when he auditioned for the Chad
Mitchell Trio, as Mitchell's replacement. He got the job over 250 other
candidates, despite a vicious cold. "He sounded dreadful," Milt Okun,
the trio's record producer and now Denver's album producer, has said. "But
I loved his personality. He was full of life. His voice was not as good as
Chad's, but he lit up the room."
Denver stayed with the highly successful Mitchell
Trio for nearly two-and-one-half years, through the mid-Sixties' folk
explosion, learning professional stagecraft and writing songs. "Leaving on
a Jet Plane" was his first hit, soaring to number one on the charts--but
sung by Peter, Paul and Mary. In 1968, the Mitchell Trio dissolved and Denver
went out on his own, moving to Aspen with his wife, Annie, and working the college-concert
circuits. Slowly, he built a small reputation as an appealing artist and a nice
young man. "I was invited back to every single campus on which I
performed," he says proudly.
Two climactic breakthroughs in Denver's career
followed: "Take Me Home, Country Roads," written in collaboration
with Bill and Taffy Danoff, with Denver's own recording becoming a 1,000,000
seller; and his fortuitous hookup with brash and brilliant Jerry Weintraub, his
manager, his best friend and the architect of the John Denver phenomenon.
To explore what is behind the phenomenon and
especially what is behind this sunny-faced gamin with the granny glasses and
the indefatigable cheeriness, Playboy sent free-lance journalist Marcia
Seligson on a camping trip with Denver. Seligson reports:
"I've known John slightly for a couple of years
through our participation on the est advisory board, but I've been a fan of his
music--or at least his melodies--since 1973 or so. But, like many of my
friends, I distrusted the image: Nobody can be that adorable or perky, I
thought. Also, I've known enough stars to recognize that you don't get to be
the astounding success he is without having merciless drive, tenacity and
probably more than your share of lunacy. I wanted to poke into those corners of
the man, find the contradictions, the true complexity, his dark side.
"Denver would not allow a reporter access to
his Aspen sanctuary; instead, he suggested a three-day hiking and camping
excursion into the Ventana Wilderness near Big Sur, in California. He picked me
up in his single-engine Cessna, for which he'd just acquired his pilot's
license. The entire trip--and some of the interview--was Nature Boy Meets the
Jewish Princess. I tripped over the tent moorings, he patiently reinstalled
them. While I was besieged by maddening killer gnats, he ignored them in favor
of happily sighting distant hawks and deer on the hillsides.
"There were some moments of extraordinary
magic. The first night, after we set up camp and lit the charcoal for steaks,
we sat on the cliff together. The Big Sur night was windless and balmy,
full-mooned; we were enshrouded by sugar pines, Santa Lucia firs, cedars and
the eerily gnarled madroša trees. The ocean was far below us and the silence
was total, engulfing. Denver picked up a guitar and quietly began to sing, 'He
was born in the summer of his 27th year, Comin' home to a place he'd never been
before . . .' and the mountains echoed with his pure tenor voice, as he sang
for an hour, nonstop, into the silence. "I would love to go to one of my
concerts as a member of the audience. . . . They're that good, that unique. I
don't think anybody does a show like I do. Simple as that."
"Denver's guitar is more than an extension of
his body, it is a vital organ. He sings the way the rest of us talk; that is,
he grabs for his guitar when something needs to come out of him. The second
night, the powers that be laid on a four-star sunset for us. As we watched it,
John ran back to his tent, returned with his guitar, perched on the edge of the
cliff and sang 'My Sweet Lady.' his best love song, to the sun, his voice
stretching across the canyons.
"I discovered two things about John: He is
precisely his image of the ebullient unsophisticated lad; and he is
considerably more than that. A deliberate, determined professional, moody and
self-questioning, accessible and yet remote, as if behind gauze, unfailingly
kind and energetic. One afternoon, we went romping on the beach and he quickly
disappeared, climbing a wall of rock. I took a nap on the sand. When I opened
my eyes, he was making his way down the steep face--carrying a bulging carton
of empty beer cans and rubbish that he'd collected at the top. That night, he
offered to sing a few songs on the terrace of the splendid Ventana Inn--the
owner is his friend and had plied us with fine French wine at our campsite.
John sat on a bench in the corner, no stage or lighting, about 75 people
listening, and began to sing at midnight. He did not stop until 2:30 in the
morning, 'after I'd sung everything I ever wrote, every request anybody had and
every song I could think of.' It was on this subject--his clear and obvious
passion for singing--that we began our conversations."
PLAYBOY: Few interviews are conducted during a camping trip in Big Sur; and
few subjects start things off by singing for the interviewer, as you did for
us. You seemed to love every minute of it. Is singing as great a high in your
life as it appears to be?
DENVER: Absolutely.
Concerts are the most important thing to me. What I want to do is go out there
and sing for people, sit there and be with them. I tell you, it's a rush, it's
that beautiful feeling of being incredibly alive. And the more people it
happens with--I mean, it's powerful. When it's all working in a concert--when
your voice is working and the audience is with you and the band is
cooking--it's absolute magic. God, it's a reason for living, if you need a
reason for living. In fact, I would love to go to one of my concerts as a
member of the audience.
PLAYBOY: Why?
DENVER: There's a certain
energy that comes together in those giant arenas where I've been performing: It
starts way outside, in the traffic, and works its way through the people
walking in, finding their seats, beginning to settle in. There's a buzzing
excitement as showtime approaches. Then it builds and builds, until the
headliner comes out, and then there's this immediate charge, and it's a magical
evening.
PLAYBOY: Is that always
true of your concerts?
DENVER: Sometimes, not
always. Yeah. They're that good, that unique. I don't think anybody does a show
like I do. Simple as that. I said once, long ago, that I don't just want to
entertain people, I want to touch them. And I rejoice now that I had such
clarity about what I wanted to do with my music and that it's obviously
working. You can get to a level of performance where you just don't do it bad
anymore, and I feel that our group, our organization, is at that level. We
don't do a bad show. But there's another way in which we're unique. Nobody else
knows how I want to do a concert, so I have to take the responsibility for the
whole thing, for everything. From the moment that it's announced until we've
left the building, my sound people are gone and all the bills are paid, I'm
responsible. We handle the ads in the newspapers and on radio to make sure
they're done with a little class, a little style. A lot of concerts are
advertised on the page of the newspaper where they have the raunchy movies.
Well, I don't want people to see me down there. Then the day of the concert, we
meet with the parking-lot attendants, with the ushers, and lots of times I'll
go out and sit with them. I say, "The success of this evening has a great
deal to do with what you do. I want you to know my audience isn't rowdy,
they're here to have a good time and I would like you to do whatever you can to
make it a pleasant evening for them." You see, I want to create a really
comfortable and safe space. I want to create a place where people can be
themselves, with other people being themselves, and we're all there together
doing one thing. So I say, "If you guys can help me do that, then I'll
take care of the show end and I promise you we'll have a magical night."
That's the way it works. And one of the things that we've learned is that
people come to my concerts who have never been to a concert before and don't
know where to go or what to do. So we tell the ushers that there's going to be
these people there and to take care of them.
PLAYBOY: Is all of the
necessary? Most artists don't concern themselves with the parking, do they?
DENVER: No, and it's so
easy just not to worry about things in such detail. But when I take
responsibility for what I want done, then the whole evening gets to be a real
experience of me and who I am. You see, the people who work in those big arenas
have mostly had the experience of rock concerts--the need for security, the
rowdiness. So we let them know that mine is not a rock concert and my audience
won't behave rudely. We don't start an hour late and we don't oversell tickets
or any of that stuff that goes on in rock concerts. The thing about it is that
whether I take responsibility for the entire show or not, the audience holds me
responsible.
PLAYBOY: So you may as
well assume it.
DENVER: Sure. When I'm
onstage, I know everything that's going on in the building. I hear hecklers, I
see through the walls, I know when a janitor is unloading some trash outside or
taking it downstairs into a hallway. I just know it. I see it. That is mine, it
gets to be my space. Actually, that's inaccurate. It gets to be a unified
space, with everybody there giving himself to creating the concert. That really
pleases me. Generally, when you have a concert of 18,000 or 20,000 people, at
any given time there are 1000 people walking around in the outer corridors,
going to the concession stands and to the rest rooms. I'll bet you at my
concerts there's an average of 20 people walking around at a time, that's all.
And I see them. I can see the little holes of light at the entrances to the arena
and the ushers and usherettes are up there, standing and just watching and
listening. They don't have to be taking care of anything else, 'cause there
ain't nothin' else going on; everybody's in his seat enjoying the show and
things are going smoothly. I can't tell you how that pleases me. I did a
concert in Atlanta last year, for about 18,000 people. One review was a
knockout; the man said it was one of the most beautiful evenings he'd ever seen
and he couldn't believe that that huge audience could be so quiet.
PLAYBOY: But isn't it true
that over the years, record and concert reviewers have almost unanimously
slammed you?
DENVER: No. I would say
that in the big, so-called sophisticated cities--in New York, Los Angeles and
maybe Chicago--that's true. In other places, like Atlanta, Denver, Cincinnati,
sometimes I've gotten very good reviews. In any given city, if there are two
newspapers, my concert will get one good review and one bad one.
PLAYBOY: Does it really
break down into poor reviews in the major urban centers and better ones in the
Midwest and the South?
DENVER: It seems to. A
lot of that has to do with what I think I represent in my music. I'm not a
sophisticate, I'm the opposite of Ole Blue Eyes. In the early Seventies, my
success went totally against the grain of what was going on in popular music.
The mainstream of music, which is where the focus was, was hard rock, both in
the industry and with the public. The popularity of country music that's grown
in the past couple of years with Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings hadn't
started yet and the Sixties folk music was over. So within that framework of
rock music, I came along and had great success with songs like Take Me Home,
Country Roads in 1971. I think the people in the media wanted to say,
"Over here is where it's happening"--meaning in rock 'n'
roll--"even if this guy had a fluke with his record." Rock was what
they applauded and where they uplifted performers and where the hype was really
going on; nobody was paying serious attention to me.
PLAYBOY: But now you are
one of the most successful entertainers in the world and have been for several
years; yet the critical scorn continues. Reviewers aren't taking you any more
seriously now than at the beginning of your career, are they?
DENVER: No. There seems
to be a great resistance out there to me, to the things that I represent,
perhaps.
PLAYBOY: What are those
things?
DENVER: A celebration of
life and a life that is reflected in a rural setting more than an urban one.
Most of the critics who write negatively about me are people working in big
cities, on big newspapers or magazines. I come in singing about the mountains
or the wilderness, about love and family, and that's not what those people want
to hear. All they are really exposed to is the horrendous stuff they read every
day and see on television news. Sometime I'd like to be a critic; my notion of
most critics is that they couldn't make it in the business themselves, so they
started being critics.
PLAYBOY: That sounds like
something said by somebody who gets bad reviews.
DENVER: [Laughing]: Yeah,
right.
PLAYBOY: How do reviews
affect you?
DENVER: The good ones I
take as verbatim, as absolute gospel. The bad ones I dismiss.
PLAYBOY: Really?
DENVER: No. I've kind of
gotten out of the habit of reading reviews, mine or anyone else's. Every once
in a while, I'll see a review in Rolling Stone of somebody that I really enjoy,
so I'll look at it. As far as I'm concerned, I know what I did on the record or
in the concert; I know what was good and what was bad; I know what I was trying
to do and whether I succeeded or not.
PLAYBOY: But isn't the
critical dismissal largely because of the image you convey? The cover of
Newsweek portrayed you as a human sunflower and many people think you come off
like a sappy Pollyanna. They tend to disbelieve you and your "Yippee,
isn't this farrrrr out!" approach to life.
DENVER: I'm probably not
that nice all the time. I do have periods of what to me is incredible
depression. As high as I can get, I'm capable of being that low. There are
times when I am very sad, times when I'm lonely; there are times when I'm
unhappy and when I feel sorry for myself. What have I got to feel sorry for
myself about? I have everything. But it has nothing to do with what you've got
or where you are. It's the human condition. To run the gamut of those emotions
is a great part of the living experience; I have all of those things in me and
I'm able to communicate them in songs better than I'm able to reflect them in
person, perhaps. I think a lot of my songs reflect the sadness and show the
pain that I feel.
PLAYBOY: What, precisely,
are you trying to communicate?
DENVER: My intention in
life is to make some kind of contribution to the world out there. I've learned
that the thing that gives me the most effective opportunity to do that is to be
myself. So here's the way I make my contribution: I have some notions that I
feel very strongly about, some experiences that have worked and always work for
me. One of those is being out someplace like this, camping in Big Sur. This is
a quieting, settling, clarifying experience. Being out in the woods and
listening to the wind blowing in the trees, not listening to telephones ringing
constantly and horns honking and people grabbing you. This is a peaceful place
and anyone who comes here will find that. So I want everybody to know, Hey,
this is something that works for me. Within the realm of my own experience and
my limited knowledge of the earth around me, well, I want to share that with people.
PLAYBOY: Is it possible
you're not communicating all of your complexity and that that is why so many
critics think you're either a simpleton or full of bullshit?
DENVER: I'm aware that I
have this underlying purpose of wanting people to know, in the midst of this
incredibly insane world, with all of the terrors and problems, that life is
worth living. I love life! I love everything about it. And there comes a point,
when I'm incredibly angry or sad, that I experience that emotion so strongly it
gets to be a celebration. It's life, you see?
PLAYBOY: Well. . . .
DENVER: And even so in
that pain or sadness or fear--though there aren't so very many things I'm
afraid of anymore--I get to a certain low point and what I really experience
is, God, I'm alive! How wonderful to feel this way! How wonderful it is to care
so much that your heart is breaking! I'm aware that throughout all of this
pain, what permeates me is this sense of love and of life. And that's what I
want to give and share with people. Anybody I see or talk to, I'd really like
him to fell better afterward; I really would, and I'm not always able to do
that. But it's part of that underlying thing that is always going on with me.
What happens, you see, is that I'll go out feeling really, really terrible. I'm
depressed or Annie and I are arguing or a mix-up is going on in the business
and everything seems out of control. But somebody comes up to me and says,
"How ya doin', John?" And I say "Great! How are you today?"
And all of a sudden, for that moment, with that person, it is great. Now, why
lay all my shit on him?
PLAYBOY: Because you're
lying.
DENVER: No, I'm not.
That's what I'm trying to say.
PLAYBOY: But if you're not
feeling great----
DENVER: I am feeling
great! I've just told you that it is great to me to feel pain. It's great to me
to be sad. That's life. A whole lot of people think, God, I'm sad, I'm
miserable, life is not worth living. That's what we're taught. What I'm trying
to say is unhappiness is part of the human condition and it's always going to
be there. Your happiness and success are not constants, nor are they fixed.
It's an ongoing process.
PLAYBOY: All right, but
you've said you want to communicate who you are. So if someone asks, "How
are you, John?" and you answer, "Great, far out," then it's a
lie, it's a mask. And so your so-called celebration of life will strike people
as shallow.
DENVER: Let me think
about what you're saying. I really want to express to you that I don't feel it
as a lie or as an act. I have constant opportunities to be with people. I
cannot go anywhere and not be recognized; and I really get to share a great
deal of myself. The way I choose to do that is in my music--that's what does it
most effectively for me. I bare my soul to people in music, I think. But there
is all of the stuff of my life that is constantly going on and I don't want to
maintain that level of communication with everybody all the time. I think that
would drive me crazy.
PLAYBOY: You mean a level
of intense self-revelation?
DENVER: Yes. With
different people, you bare different levels of yourself. And there are things
that you don't communicate to anybody. Strangers come up who want to sit down
and rap with me. I can't do that. There are some things that I need to maintain
for myself personally. Some things I need to preserve for my friends. But the
first thing that is there for me in every relationship, in every aspect of
living, is this celebration. So even when I'm down, I realize that's only on
the surface. My sense of joy and aliveness and love is the underlying thing, so
deep that it's always right there. "I'm aware that throughout all of this
pain, what permeates me is this sense of love and of life. And that's what I
want to give and share with people."
PLAYBOY: Has that always
been true for you?
DENVER: No; when I
was in high school and even before that, I went through long periods of not
speaking to anybody. I would get into depressions and feeling sorry for myself
and just withdraw. I must have been really shitty, hard on a lot of people who
loved me. My parents most specifically, I think. But I'm glad you asked me
that, because maybe that became part of what I am now. You see, I wanted
everyone to know I was hurting and to pat me on the head. But it never worked.
PLAYBOY: You didn't get
what you wanted?
DENVER: No, not that way.
I learned that this way works for me and it's also more honest. It's closer to
the truth of who I really am. See, there are enough people around who are
dwelling on the shit in life, enough people hung up on themselves and the
sadness and the screams. I do want you to know that I'm there, too, but I
always get back to the other side; I absolutely intend to put the positive out
there--it's the central core of my being.
PLAYBOY: You mentioned that
you were depressed and withdrawn as a child. Why?
DENVER: Most of it had to
do with the fact that I never felt I had a home. My father was in the Air Force
and we were always moving around. Well, not always, but the longest we ever
lived in one place was seven years, in Tucson. I resented the hardships my
parents put me through because my dad was in the Service, so I really shut
myself off from them for a large part of the time that I lived with them. For
example, we moved from Tucson to Montgomery, Alabama, when I was 13 years old.
That was pretty jarring--a segregated society in the Deep South. I started
school a week after everybody else had started and I didn't know a single
person in that town. That's a pretty insecure place to be when you're only a 13-year-old
kid. The thing that got me through that year, that made friends for me, was my
guitar and my singing. And that was a big lesson in my life; not a turning
point but a kind of focus.
My dad and I
didn't get along until maybe two or three years ago. I think there's something
that goes on with the first male child in a family. In our family, I'm five
years older than my brother and there are only two of us. I've really observed
a marked difference between the way I was raised and the way my brother was
raised. For many years, I resented that a great deal.
PLAYBOY: What was the
difference?
DENVER: Well, the kind
of responsibilities that I had as opposed to the responsibilities--or lack of
them--that my brother had. The disciplines that I faced that he was never
subjected to. So I was bitter toward him and toward my mom and dad,
particularly my dad, about that.
PLAYBOY: How do you feel
about your family now? Are you any closer to them?
DENVER: Oh, Jesus, yeah,
I love them. I look at my childhood very differently now. I can see that it was
a great experience for me. I lived in so many different situations, met a whole
lot of different people, went through all kinds of things at a very early age
that really prepared me very well to do what I'm doing now, to be what I want
to be in the world. Also, now, in est terms, I can really take responsibility
for shutting myself off from my family as a kid and not communicating with
them. I have such a profound sense of family now in my life. And a lot of that is
because of my marriage to Annie and having a real home. Annie went to grade
school, junior high school, high school and college in the same town, with the
same people--in St. Peter, Minnesota. She has a real close loving family, real
roots.
At this point in
my life, I feel nothing but support from my mom's family and my dad's and
Annie's, and it's incredible for me. But it's only recently that this feeling
has gotten to be a crystal, solid thing that I can rest on. We did a concert in
Oklahoma City last year--my parents' families are spread around Oklahoma--and I
set it up so that all the Deutschendorfs and all of my mom's family came for a
huge family reunion. We played a softball game and it was fantastic for me.
That night, we had a dinner for just family and the people who were with me on
the tour and during dinner, I stood up to tell them all what family meant to
me. And I told everybody that one of the things that I want to do with my life
is to impart that sense of family to the world around me; that I felt that one
of the things that's really lacking in society today is the sense of family
that I have now with my own.
PLAYBOY: Let's go back to
something you said before, about everybody's wanting to make a contribution to
the world. Do you really think that's true?
DENVER: Yeah. I think
everybody--I mean everybody--is in the same situation. They want to give. But
it seems sometimes that practically nobody knows that. Everything around you is
caught up in or supports the notion that you want to get, you want to have. So
that's where people get stuck and then they're stuck even further because they
don't know who they are, so they don't know what it is that they want to give
or do. Now, I'd say that 99 percent of the time it's exactly what they're doing.
But they don't know that: "It can't be what I'm doin'--working in a gas
station." I'd like to let people know that whatever it is they're doing,
we need that, we need that to be done. And they can make an invaluable
contribution to the whole universe by doing those things that they do. Jesus,
everybody would have so much more joy in their lives if they could see that
they are, in fact, providing a service.
PLAYBOY: Do you think that
the guy working in the New York subway cleaning toilets thinks he's making a
contribution?
DENVER: Of course not.
And that comes from the fact that a whole lot of people have said that cleaning
out toilets is shit.
PLAYBOY: So to speak.
DENVER: [Laughing]:
Right.
PLAYBOY: But if you're
trapped in an urban ghetto, you don't want to think about the Rocky Mountains
very much. That could make you crazy.
DENVER: It would sure
make you unhappy in the ghetto. But I don't think that anybody's trapped. A lot
of stuff out there supports the notion that you're trapped, but I don't think
anybody truly is. I think you can put up a lot of barriers between yourself and
where you'd like to be in the world.
PLAYBOY: That's right out
of est. How much did that affect your life?
DENVER: I took the
training in Aspen in the summer of 1971. For me, est was not so much a
revealing experience as an acknowledgment of some things that I had always felt
but that nobody else had ever said.
PLAYBOY: Like what?
DENVER: About personal
responsibility, I suppose. And about joy and pain being the same thing, love
and hate the same thing; that it all falls within the spirit of existence. All
of those are pieces and what most of us do is get hung up on the pieces without
ever really getting in touch with the whole context. Somehow, even back then, I
was living in the context much more than in the bits and pieces.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever had
any therapy?
DENVER: No. Est was my
first adventure like that. Here's something else. I never knew what meditation
was; I never studied formal meditation or T.M. But what is meditation? It's
stilling yourself and looking inside. And I discovered that I've been
meditating since I was eight or nine years old. In Tucson, there was a place
with some really tall, great trees, the only trees in the neighborhood. I used
to climb up as high as I could get in those trees and just sit there and watch
people on the street, watch the traffic go by, watch the clouds through the
leaves, feel the wind. I'd kind of empty myself and be totally aware of
everything that was going on around me but be absolutely still. Now I do the
same thing if I'm in a car or a plane. I slow myself down and I'm aware of the
stewardess going by, conversations around me, but I'm still and I'm quiet. It's
exactly what I've been doing all my life, but I never knew it was meditation.
"We always wanted children, but I'm sterile. . . . It's one of those
things that I always knew, since I was about 13 years old. It was just a
feeling I had."
PLAYBOY: You've been
quoted as saying you've had some experiences of clairvoyance. Is that so?
DENVER: Yeah, I've
discovered I have that power and I'd like to develop it. I had a great
experience up in Alaska. I went up there to make a film. I'd always wanted to
go to Alaska and experience that wilderness. Anyway, the film is basically of
me and a couple of bush pilots, and we were getting ready to start filming in
Barrow. But the bush pilots were stuck in a small town where they'd been fogged
in for ten days. When I was told that, I said, "They'll be in Barrow when
we land there tomorrow." Everybody thought I was crazy, it was so cruddy
and foggy out. Well, the pilots landed ten minutes after we did.
So we started the
filming. I wanted to go out over the ice and find a polar bear to film. The
bush pilots were concerned because they were professional guides and knew they
could take people out for two weeks without seeing a bear. The weather was
still lousy. I told them the sun was going to be shining the next day and we'd
find a bear. The next morning, it was still cruddy. I said, "Look, you
guys, why don't we go out and get everything ready and I bet by that time the
sky opens up for us." It cleared up, we flew out and not only found a bear
the first day but were able to find a place downwind of the bear to land, on
the ice, and the bear crossed right in front of us so we could film it. I tell
you, I had a couple of believers in those pilots after that.
PLAYBOY: What's your
explanation for all that?
DENVER: I don't know.
PLAYBOY: You must have a
theory about it.
DENVER: All right: I
think I run the universe.
PLAYBOY: Care to explain
that?
DENVER: I don't want in
any way to intimate to people that I separate myself from them in feeling that
way. I think we all run the universe. We sometimes run it at the expense of
others and mostly we run it without knowing or having any idea of what that
means. I don't know precisely what it means, but I do have a sense that I am
responsible, that all of this is my creation and----
PLAYBOY: Since you run
things, would you run these mosquitoes out of our campsite, please?
DENVER: I don't know if I
can do that. If you get down to the nitty-gritty, it's got to be all bullshit.
I can't get rid of the mosquitoes. Maybe I can get a stronger wind up so we can
at least have them get out of our hair and our faces.
PLAYBOY: So what are you
getting at?
DENVER: I don't think
it's power or control. I think it is the real sense of being one with the
universe. Perhaps spirituality is the correct word. That thing that is in all
of us and in the universe, and that is what God is. That's what the Great
Spirit is that the Indians talk about, that spark of life that's not your mind
and not your body. I wish I could find exactly the right words for this.
PLAYBOY: And that's what
you meant when you once said "I am God"?
DENVER: Exactly. And it's
in all of us and I know that people have experienced it, but sometimes I guess
it's so far out that you think, This can't be the truth. I think that
spirituality took different forms--or religions--to be able to explain some of
these things that people feel. The Tao says, "The name that can be named
is not the name." You can talk about it until you're blue in the face and
that's not it. But there are legends--the Indian people, in their close
communion with nature, gave many forms to the Great Spirit. Spirits in the
wind, spirits in the storm clouds, and certainly the sun and moon and mother
earth were spirits. People have a sense, I think, of a communion with all that.
We can't describe it, so we lamely try to label it. Religion is a feeble
attempt to share this sense of God.
PLAYBOY: Do you think most
people have experienced this kind of oneness or spirituality?
DENVER: Yes. Everybody
has. And damned near everybody will deny it. I tell you that I know that
because I know that our oneness with this spirit is true. I know that!
PLAYBOY: You called
religion a feeble attempt to share a sense of God.
DENVER: Yes. You don't
have to go to church to know God, though you don't necessarily have to stay
away. My own experience up to now is that religion gets between you and any
sense of the spirit. It's a barrier between me and God. When I think of
Christianity . . . oh! I can't think of a word that says for me how many
terrible things have been done in the name of Christianity! Like, "If you
don't embrace my form of religion, you're a heathen." The Christians tried
to convert the Eskimos, for instance. When I was in Alaska, I met some Eskimos
and they are a beautiful, spiritual people. Now, since their conversion, they
have problems they've never faced before. Being with them has opened my eyes to
some things about my own son, Zackary.
PLAYBOY: He's an adopted
Indian boy, isn't he?
DENVER: Yes, a quarter
Cherokee. When Annie and I adopted him, we talked about wanting to educate him
to his heritage, his culture, where he comes from. But my desire for that is
now deeper than I ever dreamed. His heritage is a beautiful one, strong and
solid and totally in touch with the universe. I really want him to be able to
express that and experience it. I want to take him to the reservation. I want
him to spend time with those people who are his.
PLAYBOY: You have two
children, both adopted. Why did you adopt children?
DENVER: Annie and I
wanted children very much, but I'm sterile.
PLAYBOY: Has that been
difficult for you to handle?
DENVER: Yes and no.
Somehow, it's one of those things that I always knew, since I was 13 years old.
It was just a feeling I had. But I never spoke about it, though I mentioned my
feeling to Annie when we got married. For a while, we went along not wanting to
have children, and then we tried for about four or five years, but nothing was
happening. We went through a bunch of tests where everybody assumed it was
Annie's problem. They always assume it's the woman's problem, so they checked
her out and there's absolutely nothing wrong with her. It took 15 minutes to
find out that I'm sterile. It wasn't a shock to me at all, but Annie went
through a brief period of great sadness and compassion for me, perhaps for us.
On a couple of occasions, before we adopted Zackary and Anna Kate, I went
through some real grief, deep depressions and feeling sorry for myself, for
Annie and me. Then we started working on the adoption right away, five years
ago, and it took some time.
PLAYBOY: How long have
you had the children?
DENVER: Zackary for
three years and Anna Kate for almost a year. And they're our children, there's
just no doubt about it. It's a wonderful, marvelous, beautiful miracle to
me--our family.
PLAYBOY: Are you going to
adopt more children?
DENVER: Well, we planned
one at a time. Annie and I have talked about it and I guess I would like to
have as many children as I can afford.
PLAYBOY: That would be a
battalion.
DENVER: But by afford I
mean all that I can give myself to and have the time to be with them. We've
talked about seven, but who knows? Yes, I'm positive that we'll adopt more
children.
PLAYBOY: Anna Kate is
Japanese?
DENVER: Yes, but she
gives French kisses.
PLAYBOY: Why did you pick
minority children? Was it because they're more available for adoption?
DENVER: We just
didn't care. When you have a lot of specific requirements, adoption is harder
and takes longer. Our only consideration is that we would like to have children
who are healthy enough--or who can be made healthy enough, with medical
help--to live with us and do the things that we enjoy doing in the mountains.
We're a pretty active, outdoor family and living at a high altitude has its own
things to deal with. We didn't ask for a boy and we got Zackary; I think we
preferred a girl after that and we got Anna Kate. But we didn't care and it's
always a surprise, never what you expect.
PLAYBOY: Did you have any
personal obstacles to overcome in their being minority children?
DENVER: Not at all. We
were just watchful and considerate of our parents in that respect. And they
became grandparents immediately, just slipped right into it. I tell you, I
think that children were made for grandparents and vice versa, and it's a
beautiful, joyous thing to observe--the love they show those two little ones.
There's just no question that this is our family, that it could ever be or was
ever meant to be anything other than exactly the way it is. You know, I have
this notion about children choosing their parents, my whole sense of spirits
and how they get together. Those little souls choose the precise way they want
to come into the universe and who they want to be with.
PLAYBOY: What do you mean?
DENVER: Well, this was
first articulated for me in being around Werner Erhard, the founder of est, and
more and more, I observe its truthfulness. If you allow yourself to see it, it
gets to be really obvious, at least to me. But the point is that it was a
miracle for my two little souls to have made this circuitous trip to be with
Annie and me. I'll tell you something. Three years ago, when we were well into
the adoption process, I had a dream in which men in white robes with surgical
masks came and placed in my arms this little boy-child who was round-eyed and
had this marvelous gummy smile and a kind of overbite. And he grabbed my thumb
and it was a completion. Simple as that. I told Annie about the dream and we
laughed, we thought it was interesting. So the day we picked up Zackary, we
were standing in the hall of the adoption agency when these people came rushing
in with this baby. They put him in my arms and he grabbed my thumb, looked up
at me and smiled. It was the same little boy.
PLAYBOY: Exactly?
DENVER: Exactly. The same
face.
PLAYBOY: Was the child
announcing himself to you in the dream? Is that how you interpret it?
DENVER: I don't know. He
was born exactly ten days after I had the dream, so I thought that was far out.
With both of our children, from the moment we started the adoption process, I
had this sense of a little spirit out there that was starting a journey toward
us. And every quiet meditative moment, before a show or at night before I let
myself drift off to sleep, I would talk or pray or communicate with that little
spirit out there . . . just saying to myself, to it, "Well, it's started.
We can't wait to be with you. Your mom and I love you so much. I don't know
what you've got to go through between now and when we finally get together, but
whatever it is, I want you to know that there are two people here who love you
very much. And we can't wait to be with you."
PLAYBOY: Whenever you talk
about family, you get choked up and tearful. What is it that moves you so
deeply?
DENVER: I don't know. The
thing that I just flashed on was how very precious they are to me and how
seemingly far away I am from them sometimes. I go through periods, when I'm on
the road, of wanting to have my family with me and I'll get really depressed.
PLAYBOY: Your family
doesn't travel with you?
DENVER: Rarely.
PLAYBOY: How much time do
you spend at home in Aspen?
DENVER: Last year, it was
about four weeks.
PLAYBOY: Recently, in
addition to your concerts and television specials and albums and benefits and
club date with Sinatra, you starred in your first feature, Oh, God! Had you wanted
to do a film for a long time?
DENVER: Yes. Four or five
years. I've been reading scripts and had movie offers at least since I've been
doing my own specials. I knew what I was looking for and I didn't want to do it
until it was just right and I was ready and could do it my way. And the one I
was most interested in was the script for Oh, God! I liked the story and I
thought I could be that guy. I liked what God was saying in it and the vehicle
He took to say it; I thought it's exactly what I'm trying to say in my music
and what I want to do with my life. I mean, it's just a lovely story, I think,
and it's plausible, I guess.
PLAYBOY: Was there
anything else that you considered doing before Oh, God! came along?
DENVER: At one point, I
had an interview with Sam Peckinpah to be Billy the Kid, in Pat Garrett and
Billy the Kid, the role Kris Kristofferson played. And I would have loved to do
that, a whole different thing for me.
PLAYBOY: You wanted to
play Billy the Kid?
DENVER: Yeah. I
interviewed for the part, but I didn't get it, because Peckinpah didn't think I
could kill anybody. Which is the truth, but that's what they thought about
Billy the Kid, too. So what does he know? What do I know?
PLAYBOY: There's a line at
the beginning of Oh, God! in which you say to God something like, "Why did
You pick me?" And He says, "I set the world up so it can work. And
you're my messenger." That seemed made to order for you.
DENVER: I will be very
frank with you. Yes, I feel that that's my role. I feel I'm a messenger.
PLAYBOY: The message is
that the world can work?
DENVER: Yeah. And I
wouldn't say it exactly that way. I guess I'd say that the earth and the spirit
provide us with everything we need. And maybe this is simplistic, perhaps it's
naive, but I look at those beautiful pictures that were taken of the earth from
the moon and I see this one beautiful blue orb hanging there in the blackness
of space--one planet Earth. And I see, in that sphere, that globe, everything
that everybody needs to live a full and productive and happy, healthy life.
We've got everything we need.
PLAYBOY: Going back to the
movie, did you ever take acting lessons?
DENVER: Not really. A
fantastic guy named Jeff Corey worked with me during the shooting of Oh, God!
What he showed me allowed me to take some tools that I already had in
performing and use them effectively.
PLAYBOY: You've never had
any voice lessons, either, have you?
DENVER: No. So,
hopefully, I shouldn't have too many acting lessons. I think if I had real
serious vocal training, the way you train someone who's going to do opera, I
would change my voice, and not for the better.
PLAYBOY: Do you ever find
yourself acting onstage, during a concert?
DENVER: Oh, yeah. And I
have a lot of conflict about that, but I think it happens with a lot of
performers. I want to be honest with the audience, OK? Also, I recognize that I
have a certain responsibility to entertain them. Sometimes there are nights
when you have a shitty audience; some nights nobody can get in tune and play together.
And some nights it's just simply not cooking, you can't get it there. And I
know I can give them what they want, even if for that moment it's not honest.
So you use tricks. My trick is that I become a little overenthusiastic. More
enthusiastic than I'm really feeling. I think, if I can kick it off a little
bit, I might get a spark out of the guys in the band or somebody out there or
myself and the spark will spread.
PLAYBOY: What are your
particular gimmicks?
DENVER: Saying
"Farrrrr out" is one. After the first Tonight Show that I did, it
became my trademark, because I guess I said it so many times.
PLAYBOY: So you can always
drop a "Far out" on the crowd and it will get a big response?
DENVER: Yes. But it's a
tool, which I think is a better word than gimmick. Sometimes I use it
consciously. Sometimes I use it unconsciously. I'd like not to fall back on
those little tricks, because it seems to me like a mask, a kind of lie. It's
rare these days that I have to fall back on that kind of stuff. You know, we do
good shows, I've got one hell of a band. And when you've got 20,000 people who
have been waiting a month to see you, they're excited. I very rarely face a
situation anymore where I have an audience that's kind of dead on its fannies.
But if things are going wrong in the show--a little sound problem, a buzz here,
losing a mike there, the mix feedback--I might get off track, and then I'll
start using the tools.
PLAYBOY: Would you give
us an example?
DENVER: Yeah, during that
same concert in Atlanta that I told you about--the one that got such a great
review--I was really distracted and off. Someone broke in backstage two or
three times before the concert and was really hassling me. I hate that feeling
of everything not being entirely in control, and this guy was trying to get to
me. That kind of disruption is unusual. I don't have much stuff like that going
on in my life, I'm not a threat to people, I've got nothing to push on anybody.
So it made me really uncomfortable and I recognized that during the course of
the show, I felt as if I were on automatic and that all of my attention were
really on everything else that was going on in the building, everything that I
could notice. So, from time to time, I'd use those trusty tools that always get
a response.
PLAYBOY: In this
interview, you don't seem to have said "Far out."
DENVER: You haven't been
listening. It's a quieter thing, I guess, when it's real and spontaneous.
Yesterday, I remember when we saw that hawk while we were walking, I pointed it
out to you. Far out! I noticed the expression popping out. But onstage . . . I
don't know, maybe overenthusiastic isn't the right word. Maybe it's cute.
People think of me as cute.
PLAYBOY: Do you like that?
DENVER: I always wanted
to be . . . [in a deep voice] sexy! It drives me crazy when somebody says,
"Oh, you're so cute." But it's effective.
PLAYBOY: It's been said of
you that one of the reasons for your great popularity with all age groups is
your lack of sexuality onstage, that people feel safe with you and feel that
their children are safe with you. What do you think?
DENVER: I'm aware that
with most performers who've had great success at the levels that I have, sex
has had a lot to do with it. Tom Jones, Elvis Presley, Neil Diamond. The kind
of frenzy at their concerts comes out of that, but it's not inherently in their
music, it's more the way they maneuverer onstage. I doubt that Tom Jones moves
around the recording studio like he does onstage. And I think that kind of sex
is ego, not what the music is really about. Neil Diamond, for instance. He's
written some beautiful songs. I think Beautiful Noise, his last album, is one
of the best albums I've ever heard. And I can't stand Neil onstage. I turned
off his television show because of the way he presents himself onstage, which
is not where I think the music is coming from.
PLAYBOY: Did you dislike
Presley's performances?
DENVER: Oh, I was a great
fan of his. He turned the world around and exemplified what rock 'n' roll was
for most people. But Elvis, the original Elvis, was a singer, and if you're a
singer, you've got to sing songs. And it got to the point, especially after he
got back from the Army, where he didn't get to sing songs anymore. All those
costumes and that posturing--he lost the opportunity to do what he was really
meant to do. I remember seeing a tape of his concert in Hawaii and he didn't
sing one entire song--two verses of Hound Dog and that was it.
PLAYBOY: You know
Colonel Tom Parker, don't you?
DENVER: Yeah, I love the
colonel. I got a telegram from him on a recent opening night that was signed,
"Love, Elvis and the Colonel." He always signed telegrams like that.
PLAYBOY: That was after
Elvis died, though, wasn't it?
DENVER: Yeah. Just the
other day.
PLAYBOY: What about Sinatra,
with whom you've worked. What do you think of him onstage?
DENVER: Mr. Sinatra's
success has something to do with his sexuality, but it's different from those
other guys'. Whatever he does onstage is totally aligned with what's going on
in the music. Regardless of how he moves, everything is overshadowed for me by
the quality of his performance. I just see that a lot of women go crazy over
Ole Blue Eyes. And I don't see that at my concerts. You don't see frenzied fans
at my concerts, people running up to tear my clothes off. I don't have a sweaty
handkerchief to throw to them. And I'm the only one I know who draws the kind
of numbers that I do without that.
PLAYBOY: But you want to
be sexy and not cute, you say.
DENVER: Listen, I have a
male ego, too, and sometimes I'm tired of being cute, man. But maybe I'm not
sexy; I don't know. What it really gets down to is that it doesn't make much
difference to me. What I want to do is communicate, and I do that best singin'
my songs. I don't choreograph my movements.
PLAYBOY: But don't you
think sexuality is a natural part of many singers' performances, like
Sinatra's?
DENVER: Absolutely. What
he has, what Lena Horne has is definitely sexuality. What Tom Jones and Mick
Jagger have is just sex. And those are two different things to me. The
difference is between naturalness and contrivance.
PLAYBOY: Incidentally, why
do you refer to Sinatra as Mr. Sinatra?
DENVER: Well, in show
business, people really want to appear chummy with somebody who's a great
success. One of the things I abhor is--take Sammy Davis Jr., for instance. A
great entertainer, but there are some things about him that rub me the wrong
way. Whenever he's on the Johnny Carson show, he calls him John, even though he
goes by the name Johnny, we all know that. It's like a little plug. As for me,
I don't know Mr. Sinatra. I've worked with him a few times and we've spent a
minimum amount of time outside of rehearsing for our shows, so I don't feel I
know him. He is an elder to me, someone I respect incredibly.
PLAYBOY: The pairing of
the two of you on one bill struck a lot of people as odd.
DENVER: Yeah. Once, I
walked out onstage while he was on. He had called for a glass of booze and I
surprised him by walking onstage--with a glass of milk. He broke up and the
audience loved it, too.
PLAYBOY: You once said you
had a very modest self-appraisal as far as your singing and composing were
concerned. Do you still feel that way?
DENVER: I'm getting to be
a better singer, I think. I think that my voice is maturing and I'm also
learning what to do with it. I think I'm getting to be a better songwriter as I
learn to express myself from a more intelligent or mature viewpoint. I'm not a
great guitar player. For instance, I really admire Paul Simon for the imagination
he has and the dedication in his learning classical guitar, which I understand
he studied extensively. It really expanded his playing. I don't have such a
variety of range, of expression.
But what I think I
do is communicate. My songs seem to touch people and I have a very definitive
style. When you hear one of my songs, there's no doubt who that is; it doesn't
sound like anybody else. In some cases, there's a just criticism that many of
my songs sound alike. The guy who said all Denver songs start sounding the same
had some legitimacy, and I believe that's a fault of my not playing the guitar
better.
PLAYBOY: Which of your
songs do you particularly like?
DENVER: Calypso is a
great piece of music, a great lyric and melody. The chorus is inspiring. You
know, when you hear a whole bunch of people singing that, it lifts you right up
off your seat. Annie's Song is a simple song that I think is beautiful and
majestic. I think Rocky Mountain High is a real good song, Poems, Prayers and
Promises, Back Home Again--man, my own songs are my favorite pieces of music!
PLAYBOY: How about your
lyrics?
DENVER: I think I write
lovely, expressive poetry. In a way that doesn't lose people in its imagery but
is easily understood and related to by everybody.
PLAYBOY: What do you see
as your failings as a musician?
DENVER: Most
specifically, my guitar playing. And my musical knowledge. I'd like to learn to
play the piano, then I think I'd start writing some very different kinds of
songs. But my own inadequacy in this area doesn't seem to be getting between me
and accomplishing what I want, sharing with people through my music.
PLAYBOY: And you don't
feel inadequate as a lyricist?
DENVER: Nope. I think I
write some nice lyrics. They're my favorite songs. Obviously, you don't agree,
right?
PLAYBOY: Right. Nice
melodies but sometimes awkward silly lyrics, in our opinion. The new song that
you sang for us last night has a terrible line, about "quiet
stillness." It's redundant.
DENVER: No, it's not.
There are a couple of lines in that song that send tremors through me. What I
like about my lyrics is that I paint a specific picture so clearly that you can
see whatever you want to see in it. So, in this song, I'm in a jet plane over
the mountains. The line you're talking about goes, "There are pathways
winding below me and pleasure have gone where they go / In their quiet
stillness I can hear symphonies, the loveliest music I know." That's a
contradiction there: "Quiet stillness I can hear symphonies." Quiet
stillness is more than just stillness and more than just quiet. That's about
all I can tell you about it.
PLAYBOY: It's the sort of
thing for which the critics will jump on you.
DENVER: That's OK. No
problem at all with me. I tell you, I have no problem with my songs, whether
people like them or not. I couldn't care less. And I love it when they like
them and it hurts me when they're torn apart. But the song is finished, and
that's it. I really have an experience of not owning any of those songs. From
the moment it's finished, it's no longer my song. It's your song.
PLAYBOY: Are you ever
tempted to go back and change a word here and there, even a few years later?
DENVER: No. The
song does not belong to me, I don't feel ownership of it. The closest I get to
feeling I own it is when I see the sheet music with my name on it and when I
get royalties from it. Like last night, when somebody requested Leaving on a
Jet Plane, I found myself surprised.
PLAYBOY: You mean you had
forgotten that song?
DENVER: No; but I don't
think about it and I know I have some connection with that song. It's like your
reminding me of The Last Thing on My Mind. That's definitely my song. But Tom
Paxton wrote that song. Well, Leaving on a Jet Plane, that's my song. Oh, John
Denver wrote that; oh, I know that song. Well, far out.
PLAYBOY: And you see only
a slight difference between those two?
DENVER: Yeah, I think
it's great.
PLAYBOY: Are you saying
that there is a kind of universal pool of music out there?
DENVER: Absolutely!
That's it!
PLAYBOY: And some of it
happened to have come through John Denver?
DENVER: It's not just the
music, either! There's a universal pool of truth out there. Sometimes you write
it down. Sometimes Werner says it. Sometimes Dick Gregory gets a laugh with it.
Sometimes the Beatles sing it. Sometimes I say it. It's as simple as that.
PLAYBOY: We don't feel
that we wrote Hamlet.
DENVER: I did! And I
could do it again. You know, when I struggle to write a song, I can't do it.
The song comes when it wants to come and I've got practically nothing to do
with it, the most I can do is get myself in a space to let it come.
PLAYBOY: Can you give us
an example of a song that was born that way?
DENVER: Sure. I was
walking on the deck of the Calypso [Cousteau's boat] the day I met Captain
Jacques Cousteau, and suddenly the chorus of Calypso came to me. It didn't have
music yet: "The places you've been to, / The things that you've shown us,
/ I sing to your spirit . . ." I heard it and said, "What was that?
I've got to go write that down." That was literally how the words came.
Then, for months, I struggled to write the verses to that chorus, verses that
had to be totally different from the chorus, because I wanted them to sound
classical, while the chorus is a sea chantey. So I was getting totally
frustrated because I could not finish the song and nothing would come. I wanted
to use it in my television special that was coming up, I wanted to put it on
the album I was preparing, and I didn't think I was going to get it. Finally,
one day I let go of it. "I can't do anything else," I told myself.
"I'm wasting my time here." I let go and I went skiing. I made about
two runs and I had the urge to write; I didn't need to ski anymore. I thought,
I'll go home and start working on that damn song some more, so I got into my
jeep and started for home. All of a sudden, I found myself sitting there behind
the wheel, singing, "To sail on a dream on a crystal-clear ocean, / To
ride on the crest of the wild raging storm, / To work in the service of life
and the living, / In search of the answers to questions unknown / To be part of
the movement and part of the growing / Part of beginning to understand. . .
." Man, I was tearing in that jeep, down the mountain and over to my
house, so I could get that down on paper. No, there's nobody who could convince
me that I did that.
PLAYBOY: Did you have the
melody, too, or just the words?
DENVER: By the time I got
home and sat down with my guitar, the chords were there, the melody was there.
It was all there. Boy, I just love it, whoever wrote that song. It's one of my
favorites to sing. You can totally give yourself with that song. It's a joyous,
celebrative song. And I love it that I happen to be the guy to get to put the
words down and I especially love it that I'm the guy who gets to sing it
whenever I feel like it. Thrills me. But I didn't do it, and I did it. I want
to take full responsibility for doing it and I take a lot of pride in that
song, but I didn't do it. It was given to me.
PLAYBOY: You are nominated
for awards in many categories--country, pop, middle of the road, folk. In which
division do you primarily see yourself?
DENVER: I think that I do
things in all those areas. Except, I guess, that I'm not really rock or jazz.
But pop, middle of the road, country, folk--all of those.
PLAYBOY: Who are and were
your own musical heroes and influences?
DENVER: Elvis Presley was
the first. Not a hero, but he was the first to do a really new kind of music
that communicated to a mass of my peers. His early stuff. After that, it was
Bobby Rydell, Paul Anka, all of those people. I listened to their songs and
sang them, but none of them was a real influence on me. Then, when folk music
started happening--the Kingston Trio--a lot of artists were really influential
to me. Judy Collins more than Joan Baez; Tom Paxton was a big influence on me.
Someday, I want to do an album of Tom Paxton songs. I enjoyed the New Christy
Minstrels--Randy Sparks gave me my first work as a singer, in a club in L.A.
called Ledbetters. Later, when I joined the Mitchell Trio, Phil Ochs, Peter,
Paul and Mary were very important. And the Beatles, of course, I always loved
them. I don't know who is affecting me now, but of those I listen to, I think
Stevie Wonder is the best.
PLAYBOY: Why?
DENVER: There is such
passion and such life in his music. He's so incredibly musical, a great singer.
And I think that we're doing the same thing. We come from two points of view
and two experiences in the world, and that's reflected in what we do, but I feel
that we're right in alignment.
PLAYBOY: Who else?
DENVER: I thought Harry
Nilsson was a great singer; a few of his albums are some of the best things
I've ever heard. Lately, I've gotten into Willie Nelson, I like to listen to
Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris, Fleetwood Mac. I enjoy The Eagles' Hotel
California album. And James Taylor's always been one of my favorites.
PLAYBOY: How about Carly
Simon?
DENVER: Annie's a big fan
of hers. She doesn't do much for me. I think Kristofferson is a brilliant
lyricist and I really enjoy his songs, not very often by him.
PLAYBOY: You've been very
active and vocal in various social causes in the past few years, but you've
been criticized for not taking a political stand at a time when many folk
singers did. Is that accurate?
DENVER: No, it's not
true. I don't know if you remember it or not, but one of my cherished memories
is of standing on the steps of the Capitol in front of a half million people,
singing Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream. That was in 1968, I think. It was
lovely to me because it was before anything was really happening in my career.
I was there with Peter, Paul and Mary, Phil Ochs and Pete Seeger. There were
about three marches in Washington and I was at all of them. And there has been
a constant growth since my days with the Mitchell Trio. The political satire
that they did really opened me up. Jesus, at the beginning, people would have
to explain to me why a line was funny, why everybody was laughing. I think I'm
getting more intelligent and disciplined about supporting a candidate or
defending a specific issue or taking a stand on something.
PLAYBOY: What are your
essential social concerns right now?
DENVER: My foremost
concern is with nuclear power. The time and energy, the money, the proliferation
of nuclear materials in the world today is the most frightening thing in the
universe for me. It says that the world isn't working, that there are a vast
number of people who don't want it to work, who have no sense of oneness with
other peoples or with life. It terrifies me.
PLAYBOY: Are you talking
about a specific group?
DENVER: Yes. The
terrorists. Any of them, all of them. I feel it's a realistic and pragmatic
view to look at the fact that given the opportunity, a terrorist organization is
going to use a nuclear bomb one of these days. I hope to God it doesn't happen,
but it's certainly going to be threatened, whether they have the bomb or not.
So the more nuclear material that is floating around, the more opportunity they
have to get hold of some of those weapons. And they're going to do it.
PLAYBOY: But isn't the
issue larger than that?
DENVER: Yes. The issue is
our commitment to continued development of nuclear stockpiles, both as weaponry
and as fuel for nuclear reactors. I used to have a real sense of doom about it.
I don't so much anymore, but I think we're living in perilous times.
Unfortunately, we have a society that really doesn't care. Beyond what touches
them and their own personal lives, people don't care. They hear and see what's
going on with the energy crisis, they go through a winter like the last one, a
summer like we've just had, and they still waste fuel and waste water and waste
time and don't start finding out about some of the alternatives. People can
look at an issue that has the far-reaching impact of nuclear power and not take
it upon themselves to educate themselves so that they can cast their votes
intelligently. And then we have some who don't even take the time to cast their
vote. I tell you, I am embarrassed for our people in that respect.
PLAYBOY: Is that why the
attempt to promote nuclear safeguards has been unsuccessful?
DENVER: Partly. People
are easily swayed. I had an argument with somebody who claimed that people
opted for personal convenience now instead of thinking of their children and
the future. And I disagreed with that. My sense of what happened--and this was
one of the things that I went to Washington about, to talk to Energy Secretary
Schlesinger in regard to the energy program--is that the power companies have
all the money in the world. And what they were able to do in regard to the
nuclear-safeguards propositions that were up in seven states last year was to
spend a great deal of money, making very professional and very visible
commercials in support of their position. And the other side, the side that I
support, was pretty much a grassroots movement, of people whose jobs didn't
depend on it but who had some sense of the dangers. We ended up spending one
fifth to one half as much as the power companies spent. And we lost in all
seven states.
PLAYBOY: What did you do?
DENVER: I sang in six of
the seven states, gave concerts to raise money, and I did some commercials for
television and radio in support of the nuclear-safeguards propositions. I also
contributed $100,000. And it's been one of my great disappointments.
PLAYBOY: Do you talk about
nuclear power in your concerts?
DENVER: No. I refuse to
politicize my concerts. If I'm lucky, I'll get the song done that I'm writing
about nuclear power. And the song will say it. I learned a valuable lesson from
my experience with Captain Cousteau and something called Involvement Day that
he's been putting together for the past few years. They've had five of them now
and I went to the last one in Boston. They go to an area and get all the
environmental groups together. They have speakers and debates, an incredible
display of solar-energy devices. In Boston, Barry Commoner spoke, a debate on
nuclear power was held with two of the top guys on each side. In the evening,
Pete Seeger, Don McLean and I gave a concert. Now, have I described an event?
Something you'd want to attend? Yeah. Well, they had fewer than 5000 people in
the whole course of the day. Now, I can go to Boston and sell out 30,000 seats
at seven dollars to twelve dollars a seat for a concert. But my being there
with Captain Cousteau and an Involvement Day to talk about nuclear power
couldn't draw diddly squat. Couldn't do it. What I'm forced to look at is what
people want from me. I don't think they want to hear me talk about nuclear
power. Or hunger or the wilderness. They want to hear me sing those songs. They
come to hear me sing and make them feel good or whatever it is that I do for
them.
You see some
interesting examples of what can happen. Shirley MacLaine for a long time
really got into politics. She went to China, did a film, was very vocal. You
know what she's doing now? She's back on the road performing, doing Las Vegas.
Jane Fonda, Joan Baez, the same thing. If you take a look at anybody who was
successful as a performer and who got involved in politics in a way that
shifted his focus, you will find out that he lost his audience, to some degree,
and in doing so, lost his potential effectiveness.
PLAYBOY: Those people you
mentioned--Fonda, Baez, MacLaine--did affect political change, even if their
careers suffered. Don't you think it's chickenshit to say, "I'll do it
through a song, because people don't want politics from me"?
DENVER: Well . . . let's
talk about that a little bit. People keep telling me, "John, you can't
start putting your focus entirely on those concerns, because if you do, you'll
lose your effectiveness. If you want to do something in the world, you've got
to keep singing." And I say, "If I gotta keep singing to do something,
when am I going to get to do it? And when is the time more necessary than
now?" And they can't answer that. And I can't really answer it yet. It
doesn't seem like it has a solution. But I do think that I can be most
effective by sustaining my position, by continuing to sing and do concerts and
television and albums, so that I have the access to powerful people and can
make myself heard. You know, I can sit down and call anybody in the country. I
can have a meeting with Dr. Schlesinger and give him a couple of ideas and he
might even buy one of them. I can go to Australia and do the same thing over
there, do it in Europe; if I'm lucky, one of these days I'm going to go to
Russia and China. And the first thing that I'll do when I get there is sing Rocky
Mountain High.
When I went to
Japan and sang for an audience of 20,000 people, two thirds of whom did not
speak or understand English, they sang every song with me, word for word. Now,
they have never been to the Rockies. But somehow the song works for them, too.
That's a powerful tool; it's not to be abused; it's not to be taken lightly. So
if I can lend my voice to these trees and these mountains, this ocean and this
planet, I will do that. I know that I can make an incredible political
statement with a song. I feel that I had a great deal to do with stopping the
Winter Olympics in Colorado in 1972.
PLAYBOY: With a song?
DENVER: Yes. Rocky
Mountain High. They wanted to have the Olympics in Denver. There was a lot of
crookedness and misinformation being passed on--promising the Olympics
committee that we had the facilities already built, that we would definitely
have snow there, and so forth. The people of Colorado did not want it, didn't
want to raise $200,000,000 or whatever it was, didn't want all the building,
tearing up the mountains around Denver for a ski jump. Now, that's what the
verse in Rocky Mountain High refers to. "Now his life is full of
wonder--but his heart still knows some fear--/ Of a simple thing he cannot
comprehend. /Why they try to tear the mountains down to bring in a couple
more--more people--more scars upon the land."
PLAYBOY: And it was after
that that it was decided not to hold the Olympics in Denver?
DENVER: Yes.
PLAYBOY: You've said that
your heroes were Jacques Cousteau, Werner Erhard and Dick Gregory. What do they
have in common?
DENVER: First of all,
they're not heroes. I don't have any heroes. What I do have is a sense of some
people I would like to live up to. They are so real and human, so willing to
share themselves that they are an inspiration to me. Among them, and certainly
at the very high end of it, are Captain Cousteau, Werner and Dick. They all
have something to offer and a total commitment to make a contribution to the
world, to the quality of life. It's exactly that. I would also like to say,
knowing me better than anybody knows me, that if I were not me, I would have my
name on that list.
PLAYBOY: That's pretty
modest of you. Why?
DENVER: I have to tell
you my definition of art. It's that which allows a person to see himself. You
listen to a piece of music that touches you and you see yourself. That's what I
can give to people, that's what I'm trying to do in my music. So I just took
that thought a little bit further and said, That's what I want to do with my
life. I would like my life to be a work of art--so true a reflection of my
experience of myself and the universe around me that any time anybody comes in
contact with me, he has, perhaps, a clearer sense of himself.
PLAYBOY: On to another
subject. Last year, there was an uproar about your telling the press you smoke
dope. What was that about?
DENVER: It was in
Australia. All the things you hear about the Australian press are true. It's a
yellow press, really out to get you. I was doing a concert tour there and a
reporter asked me if I smoked dope. I said yes, I do. And all of a sudden,
there was a gigantic furor. I got thousands of letters, some of them totally
disappointed, some totally supportive, saying, "Glad you're finally coming
out and saying it," "Glad to hear it," "Way to go."
And some who didn't care.
PLAYBOY: How did you
handle the mail?
DENVER: I sent a little
letter to everybody that said that I sincerely hoped that whatever they'd heard
or read or were told about me, they wouldn't let it get in the way of whatever
value my music might have for them. You know, I regret my remark now; it was
unthinking. I know a lot of people look up to me or use me as an example in
some ways. If John Denver smokes dope, it must be all right. Some little kid might
be thinking that, you see, some young kid. And, just like alcohol, I believe
marijuana should be handled responsibly, or like driving a car, and kids
shouldn't get involved with any of them until they can handle them. So I don't
want to condone smoking dope.
I'll tell you my
single greatest fear. You know I'm stupid sometimes. As much as I try to stay
healthy and keep myself together, I sometimes do unthinking things and I'm
afraid someday I'll do something that will turn people off the music.
PLAYBOY: What do you
imagine that might be?
DENVER: I have no idea
and as we speak, I'm not really sure if that could happen. I can see them
getting really angry, disappointed or upset with me, but the music is always
going to work. On the other hand, young people are very impressionable and need
heroes to look up to. I know I felt that way about President Kennedy. And now
all of the nonsense comes out, years after his death, about his affairs. If I
had heard that back then, it would have been such a shocking revelation to me,
it would have destroyed my feeling for him. Because the one person who meant
something to me turns out to be just like everybody else, see? People put you
on a pedestal or set you apart, and then when it hits them in the face that, in
fact, you really are just like everyone else, certainly it causes you to
diminish in their eyes, and then maybe it causes the music to diminish.
PLAYBOY: We'd like to ask
you about Annie and your marriage. You speak about her frequently in your
concerts and, of course, Annie's Song is one of your best-known. How old were
you when you met Annie?
DENVER: I was 22.
PLAYBOY: Was she your
first love?
DENVER: No. I've had, I
guess, three loves in my life. One when I was in high school in Fort Worth, if
you can call that love. Then, when I started traveling and singing, I met a
girl named Bobbie Worgo, who lived in Arizona. For about a year and a half, I
would go to be with her when I had free time. I wrote a song called For Bobbie
for her, the one that starts, "I'll walk in the rain by your side. . .
." Then we grew apart and I met Annie.
PLAYBOY: You have a pretty
traditional view of men's and women's roles and of marriage and family, it
seems. At least your songs suggest you do.
DENVER: I suppose so. I
do think the epitome of manhood is being a father and the epitome of womanhood
is being a mother. But in no way does that intimate that I think any less of
the woman who's not a mother but has a career and is making a contribution in
that way. But maybe I do have a traditionalist sense about that. I never
thought of it that way. My whole sense of Annie is that she wants to be a
mother.
PLAYBOY: Then what about
you? It seems to us you're pulled between the family and the world outside your
family.
DENVER: Absolutely.
You've hit the nail on the head. The constant joy to me of seeing Annie with
our children--her womanliness, her being a mother--God! But I am a complex
person. Annie doesn't fill every space for me, nor I for her. Many people don't
face up to that and can't live with it, so it ruins their lives. I'm not
willing to let that happen, so I'll be straightforward about it. And Annie
knows about my drive to sing. I cannot give that up. I cannot. I would cheat
myself, my family, everybody I love. I would take something away from all of
them. Annie doesn't like very much of the life I lead. That's one of the
differences in us. And yet there are aspects of my life that she really enjoys
and wants to take advantage of. If I go somewhere she would like to go or where
we have mutual friends and she and I have a chance for some time together, she
might come along. And certainly she can bring the kids, or not, as she wants.
But, as I told you, I was home last year for a total of four weeks. That's
terrible.
PLAYBOY: That's crazy.
DENVER: It is
crazy. And for the first time in many years, I was getting unsure, insecure,
everything was pulling in a different direction and there was no alignment in
my life. There were so many pulls that each aspect was suffering. I always
thought that I had the power to do everything, so I suppose it was a great
lesson to learn that I didn't. Everything started to suffer--the last two
television shows, and Spirit, my last album.
PLAYBOY: And your marriage
as well?
DENVER: Yes. Annie and I
were having a hard time. You see, my work has been getting more complex and
more demanding all the time. And I could see that I was either going to burn
myself out or get really crazy--those things go hand in hand. I suddenly
realized that when the choice came to do some new work or to spend more time at
home, I kept doing the stuff with the music. And I knew that if I went on like
that, I would lose my family.
PLAYBOY: What did you do?
DENVER: I just stopped
everything. At a point last winter, after I finished Oh, God! and my last
contracted special for ABC, I told Jerry Weintraub I wanted no commitment from
then on, on anything, anywhere in the future.
PLAYBOY: Was there
pressure from Annie to stop working?
DENVER: Well, it's
something that we've spoken a great deal about over the past several years, but
she never badgered me about that. I felt she was just sitting there watching,
saying to herself, "When are you going to do it? It seems to be getting
crazy to me now." And when our relationship was strained, it generally had
to do with that specific aspect of my work.
PLAYBOY: Does that refer
to your brief separation--about a week, we gather?
DENVER: I don't know.
PLAYBOY: Did you hear the
rumor that you had run away with Olivia Newton-John?
DENVER: I heard that once
and didn't hear anything more about it. Not such a bad notion. Actually, I
think our separation was about a different thing than we've been talking about.
Annie and I constantly need to examine ourselves. Both of us are very strong
people and neither wants to be dominated by the other or by anything around us.
PLAYBOY: How does the
craziness you described manifest itself?
DENVER: Well, I get very
tight, very demanding, mostly in the professional sense, with the people who
work around me. I make it difficult for them. And everything stops being fun.
Our last tour was not much fun. Only during that time out onstage. The last
television shows weren't very much fun; they suffered and the album suffered. I
don't think the movie suffered, because that was so very important to me.
I started
tightening up, building a shell around myself, so I wasn't aware of the
messages people were sending me. I learned over the past six months that I'm
intimidating to people. I always was shy and never really felt aggressive, and
then I had to recognize that I'm a very aggressive person, especially in work.
I'm going for it all the time. But I was intimidating the people I love, my
friends. And, Jesus, that was bad.
PLAYBOY: How long had all
that pressure been building up?
DENVER: Steadily for one
year, one solid year. I'd been thinking about getting off the treadmill; I'd
talked to Jerry about it, but he never thought I was actually going to do it,
and maybe Annie didn't, either. Then, as the pressure got worse and worse, near
last Christmas, one of the things that got me through without going off the
deep end was that I knew that as soon as I got through with the movie and the
last TV special, I would have a long stretch of time set aside. I was really
going to get that break. But here's an example of how crazy it had all gotten
to be. I wanted to be home for a time before Christmas, because I felt it was
Zackary's first Christmas in which he would be aware of everything. And it got
to be real important to Annie. But I didn't really take care of things, so I
ended up having to fly home Christmas Eve, from L.A., having Christmas Day off,
and then having to fly back the next morning. It was on that trip that I
thought Annie was going to kick me out. Coming back on the plane, I wrote How
Can I Leave You Again. There's a line that goes, "So I question the course
that I follow, I'm doubtful and deep in despair / My heart is filled with
impossible notions. Can it be that you no longer care?" I really thought
that maybe Annie didn't love me, that maybe I could not make her happy. And
that I had lost this thing that's so precious to me. I couldn't blame anybody
for it. I did it.
PLAYBOY: Are you ever
afraid that you won't be around to see your kids grow up?
DENVER: Somehow, it seems
to be a possibility in my life. I suppose it has to do with that thin edge
Annie and I dance on. It takes a great deal of strength and energy and desire
for the two of us to sustain our relationship in the midst of all of this and
to stay together. It's a constant, everyday thing.
PLAYBOY: So did you take
that vacation?
DENVER: The truth is that
I question whether I ever really took that break and gave myself to my family
and my home. So much stuff has been going on. It's been wonderful, but it got
to be a lot more hectic than I would have preferred.
PLAYBOY: Perhaps you need
to accept the fact that you're incapable of taking a vacation.
DENVER: I don't know. I
do know that I'm looking forward to going back to work. I'm excited. I just feel
a real celebration in how much I'm enjoying singing again--whether it's singing
by myself at home when I'm working on a song or singing for my friends when
we're out camping. Or like up in Alaska just recently--I sang every night up
there.
PLAYBOY: Doesn't it sound
as if you're starting the----
DENVER: The treadmill again. Yes. Hopefully, with a more mature
perspective. Knowing how it works. And with a clear intention to not let it get
that way again.
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